BCD: Mister Moyer Dispatch
Birth Choices Death
I can't take credit for that acronym—I heard it on a podcast with Jim Kwik, and it instantly resonated with me. Do you ever feel like you've made some questionable choices, as if your life were a ‘choose your own adventure’ book? Imagine if you could cheat, flip ahead a few pages, and see how different options play out. You'd always pick the best path, right?
But here you are, stuck in the thick, muddled mess of your choices. It’s like wading through quicksand, each step sinking you deeper. You feel lost, as if you’re wandering through a dense fog with no sense of direction. You feel broken, like a shattered mirror reflecting fragmented pieces of your former self. Hopelessness sets in like a dark cloud, heavy and suffocating. Your finances are in shambles, a chaotic storm of overdue bills and mounting debt. The threads of your life, once strong and intertwined, are unraveling right before your eyes. You’re becoming untethered from everything you once believed was real and possible, floating aimlessly in a sea of uncertainty.
Welcome to the club.
The good news is you are NOT alone. The world is feeling this struggle, and it’s pervasive. The more real and in-depth conversations I have with people, the more I realize that collectively, we’re all feeling a bit of despair and lost. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. I bet even the President might be feeling the same way.
We humans are experts at concealing our truths, our feelings, and our fears.
NO FEAR, BRO!!!
It is Saturday morning, June 29th, at 6:58 AM. I'm smoking a tobacco pipe on my screened-in patio, listening to the birds chirping while Silas, my ever-vigilant companion, runs back and forth on watch for the chatty red squirrels. I've been up since 5:15 AM. My morning ritual includes making a French press of Yerba Maté tea, stretching, meditating, having a light breakfast, and getting ready for work. I stopped drinking alcohol 4.5 years ago, coffee 13 months ago. I eat pretty healthy (despite my sugar addiction), quit hard drugs 10 years ago, and haven't smoked the jazz salad in quite some time. I'm in a healthy, loving relationship and have made choices to simplify and stabilize my life, striving to be a better version of myself.
Yet, it feels like the universe keeps squeezing me from every angle and kicking me in the gut every chance it gets.
What am I doing wrong?
Do you ever feel the same way?
I'm a spiritual person; I believe in a higher power, an energy source that moves around us. If you put positive energy out there, it should come back to you.
Right?
Last night, we had one of those spectacular Midwestern summer storms. I lay in my hammock on the patio, listening to the storm and contemplating my life. How did I get to this place where I feel broken—mentally, spiritually, and financially? As the thunder and lightning came alive, and the spirits played bumper bowling in the skies, I felt a surge of rejuvenated energy, and some answers began to form.
I overheard the spirits above, laughing and conversing as they orchestrated their magnificent thunder and lightning show. They said, "Can you believe how silly humans are? They can be anything they want. They have unlimited power but don't understand their own potential or the power of the universe they created." Then they all laughed and put on an extraordinary pyrotechnics display, with lightning and thunder coming so close that it emphasized their point. On my way to work, all the stoplights in town were blinking red, as if to underscore the message.
In that moment, I had a vision: I realized what I am—I am a blank piece of paper.
What do I want? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do with my life?
I envision staring at this fresh, blank piece of white paper, unsure of what to put on it. I don’t have the answers. I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my personality, much like a parent who loses a sense of self as their priorities shift. For the past ten years, I’ve happily dedicated myself to ensuring my grandparents were taken care of, happy, and looked after. But now, I am no longer that caregiver, and I need to focus on me. Who am I? Who do I want to be in this next chapter of my life?
Until I find some direction, the universe will continue to kick me in the gut, reminding me to get my shit together.
BCD
I need to make some C before the D shows up.
Love and Light,
MM
EAR HOLES: I have been really digging this group; GOAT. I highly recommend checking them out and do your own digging about their story.
EYE HOLES: A classic stop motion short film from one of the masters. IF you have the time, check out his version of Alice in Wonderland.